We all have those seasons in life when things are so challenging that the most we can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other. We may feel directionless other than those heavy footsteps.

While the causes of these struggles can vary in their depth and significance, we all experience them to some degree as part of our human condition.

When you are going through a particularly challenging chapter in your life, it can become difficult to see the point in believing in anything beautiful, hopeful, or even magical in our daily lives.

When I talk about magic, I’m not talking about the stuff of toxic positivity or trying to replace “bad” thoughts with “good” thoughts.

I’m speaking of real moments that exist in the world that remind us of our reasons for being alive, even when we feel overwhelmed in the face of things that we may not be able to control.

The smell of balsam on the breeze on a fall hike; when the person you were just thinking about calls at the same moment you went to pick up the phone; when something makes you laugh so hard that you are surprised with the realization you can, in fact, feel happy again; when you get lost in a book that pulls you into another universe; when you connect with a stranger in a way that resets your whole outlook on something; or when you hear a song that touches your soul.

That is the magic I’m talking about. Moments both big and small.

When we are going through difficult seasons in our lives, it can feel impossible to access that magic. The practices and activities that give us purpose and connect us to something bigger than ourselves start to slowly fall off. When things are really hard, acts of self-care can feel like “just another to do” – or maybe even pointless.

We may find ourselves asking: “what is the purpose of doing these things if it barely puts a dent in my suffering, or the suffering of the world around me?” or “Why bother when it’s all so hard anyways, and that thing that we so desperately NEED to be better isn’t getting any better?

We might even feel scared of accessing what might be underneath it all when we take time to get truly quiet and go inward – so we busy ourselves with things to numb our minds, like scrolling social media, overbooking our calendars, or drinking too much.

First, some validation: it is completely understandable that when you are facing big challenges or potentially even going through a particular chapter of hell in your life, it can feel like an impossible task to connect to small glimmers of beauty (or maybe even just the feeling of “okayness”).

But, even when things are so hard, even just a brief moment of putting your hands over your heart, feeling the breath moving in and out of your body, and to connecting to a feeling of “I am okay right now” counts for something.

There should be no “striving” here – no checklist, no A+, no champagne toast for when you’ve “arrived” at feeling better. The idea that you can checklist your way into some ideal self or ideal life is simply not realistic or attainable.

To be alive is to continually work the program that life gives us with new chapters containing new challenges. The journey that we are all on together is to learn to more skillfully dance between releasing the things we can’t control, and controlling the things that we can.

The act of radical acceptance of things we cannot control doesn’t mean that we like it, or that we chose it, or that we aren’t actively problem-solving to move things forward.

Rather, to accept means to greet our emotions at the door with a warm cup of tea and a soft place to land without trying to banish them to the basement of our hearts or deny their presence. It can go a long way to give a compassionate mental hug to our inner child and say “I see you, you’re okay right now.”

The journey of finding more magic, more glimmers of hope, or even more “okayness” can start with intentionally working to find purpose in every small act that you do and giving yourself credit for every small step you take forward.

However, before we can expect to take these steps to move forward – we first have to first acknowledge the truths we are facing in a particular chapter. What we resist only persists. From there, we can build on efforts to cultivate, find, and create more magic in our lives.

Examples of these things: breathwork, mindfulness with eating or drinking, music, movement, walks, nature, time with pets, writing, yoga, running, reading, dancing, art, travel, time spent with people you love, or spending time doing anything else that brings you joy and makes you feel alive.

Quotes about hope can land the wrong way these days, so instead of a message about hope, the closing message here is about connecting to purpose and intention.

When hope feels hard to access, purpose and intention can still be cultivated every single day.

The questions, “what makes my life feel purposeful?” and “how can I be more intentional?” can be applied to all aspects of our life: mental health, physical health, career, relationships, or even impact on your community or the world.

These questions bring us face to face with the things that we can control in a very uncertain world.

I always harken back to the Serenity Prayer. These simple lines do not have to be said in the context of any particular religion. If you believe in a higher power, energy, the universe, the night sky, the forest, or anything else that feels bigger than you, you can speak these words into that space.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.