Sober Curious

There was a time in your life when you could easily laugh off the Sunday morning hangover over breakfast sandwiches and “what happened last night?” texts with your friends. I mean after all – you do a lot of healthy things during the week. You drink the green juice, hit the sauna, and do your hot yoga.

You also might have a successful career or straight A’s in school. You show up to work on time, you are known to be a “go getter,” and you appear to have it all together on the outside, which has helped to to justify the nights where a glass or two on the weekend often escalates to a bottle.

Your hangovers from those wild nights have become less tolerable, and you’re wondering if this weekend warrior lifestyle is all that its cracked up to be. Maybe some of those wild nights have even started to have some consequences that you can’t ignore, like saying things you regret, embarrassing yourself, fighting with your significant other, or getting a DWI.

You’re here because you now have some questions about your relationship with alcohol. These questions probably started out as a nagging feeling that you just can’t shake on Sunday mornings spent nursing a hangover. Lately, this nagging voice has gotten so loud that you just can’t ignore them anymore. You have pretty solid hunch that alcohol is causing problems in your life, but you have no idea what to do about it.

You have already tried moderation and making rules for yourself in an effort to make this problem disappear.

“I’ll only drink on Saturdays.”
“Just beer, no shots.”
“No more than two glasses of wine.”
“A glass of water between each drink.”
“I’ll DD so I definitely won’t drink.“

These commitments worked sometimes – perhaps even 90% of the time.

But herein lies the problem– you’ve learned other 10% is like playing Russian Roulette, and you can never be quite sure what you’re going to get. Before you know it, happy hour still turns into shots, and the Sunday morning sunrise brings yet another round of crippling anxiety, dehydration, and crater sized bags under your eyes that no amount of concealer can salvage. You’re asking yourself, why do I keep doing this?

So you’ve started to Google things like, “I am an alcoholic?” You feel absolutely terrified of the stigma that comes with cutting back on alcohol, and what this means:

“Will I have to go to AA?”
“Do I have a disease?”
“Will I EVER have fun again if I stop drinking?”

Society has taught you to ask the wrong questions, and I’m here to help you start asking the right ones.

The question isn’t “am I an alcoholic?” The real question is: “does alcohol bring me closer to the life I want, or further away?”

You are in good company of millions of others who are waking up to this question. Alcohol abuse has skyrocketed since the COVID-19 pandemic began. People are struggling with alcohol, and they don’t know what to do about it because the options appear limited and bleak: either decide that you’re an alcoholic and announce this to everyone you know, or continue to drink and pray for less of those 10% nights.

Society unfortunately does a really great job of deterring people who want to explore their relationship with alcohol from doing just that. Why? Because we’ve put people into two black-and-white categories: those “normal” people who can moderate, and those who are alcoholics.

For a lot of people, neither of two options quite fit, which ultimately disempowers people from making changes for fear of being stigmatized or labeled in a way that doesn’t quite ring true for them. (And for the record…most people can’t moderate well. Not because there is something wrong with them, but because alcohol is an addictive substance).

I’m here to tell you something pretty exciting. There’s actually a third door.

There’s not something wrong with you for asking questions about whether alcohol is working for you – you’re actually asking a question that makes total sense, and that a lot more people are starting to ask themselves.

You don’t meet the criteria for physical addiction, you already drink less than most people you know, and the label “alcoholic” just doesn’t make sense for you. (Disclaimer: if this identification is helpful for you and brings you a sense of community, more power to you! AA undoubtedly saves lives).

It feels scary to stop drinking for a lot of people who don’t fit neatly into an alcohol use disorder category. Historically, people just don’t choose to do that unless they’ve had a “rock bottom” moment for all to see; this has made it seem like an impossible feat to ditch alcohol without having a concrete “problem” to make it make sense to people in your life.

Times are changing, and “Sober Curious” is a movement right now -just Google it. Alcohol free bars (bars!! that make mocktails exclusively!) are all over New York City. Tons of celebrities don’t drink. And Gen Z is drinking less than any generation before them. A lot of people simply don’t like drinking that much anymore and are starting to feel more comfortable in entertaining the the idea that life could be better without alcohol.

Here’s the bottom line: you’re actually ALLOWED to stop drinking simply because you want to, with no explanation or label needed.

I know, I know – sounds totally crazy, but think about – people cut out gluten, carbs, dairy, sugar, and tons of other things without getting an eyebrow raise. Alcohol actually isn’t any different.

Here are some perfectly valid reasons for wanting to stop drinking:

• You want to be physically healthier
• You want to experience less anxiety and depression
• You want to stop avoiding or numbing your feelings and learn healthier ways to cope
• You want to wake up earlier and seize the day without wasting time nursing a hangover
• You want to feel clear-headed
• You want to stop playing Russian Roulette when you do drink
• You want to feel more confident in social settings without relying on alcohol
• You don’t really like to drink anymore
• You just want to. Period.

If you have been led to believe that an alcohol-free life is boring, vanilla, and restrictive, it has probably felt impossible to make this change before. Because who wants to sign up for that life??

We’re going to dismantle the idea that being alcohol free is boring. It’s actually pure magic and a superpower to show up with confidence in a world that is obsessed with alcohol.

I work with people who want to explore their relationship with alcohol. No pressure, no judgement. Perhaps you know you want to go alcohol-free and you need help getting there. Or maybe you just want to talk about your relationship with alcohol and figure out how you even feel about all of this in the first place. You define what this means, and we talk about goals that are unique to you. I’ll meet you where you’re at.

You probably want to know if I can really help you, and if I get it. On a professional level, I have had experience working with people of all ages struggling with addiction. I’ve led outpatient groups, provided parent and family coaching, and counseled individuals seeking to find a path forward in sobriety.

On a personal level, I live an alcohol free lifestyle and have done ALL of the things sober – holidays, weddings, bachelorette parties, vacations and more. I know how to live life without alcohol, and I’ve got tons of tricks up my sleeve to help make this process easier for you so that you aren’t out here trying to figure out how to live life sober from scratch. I can truly attest to the fact that an alcohol-free life is an amazing, fulfilling, enriching, and powerful life.

If you are on the fence about reaching out to get started, I want you to think about some important questions:

Where do you want to be in one year, five years or even ten years from now? What does your dream life look like?

If you keep drinking, what will things look like for you at each of those milestones? Will alcohol get in the way of anything for you?

If you do choose the alcohol free path, what will be different? What might be better without drinking in the picture?

Lastly, the most important question to ask yourself is this: will you have regrets if you don’t explore your sober curiosity?

You don’t have to wake up ten years from now feeling like you let this chance to do better for yourself pass you by. Your chance to change can begin today.